Comparisons. We all do it. We compare ourselves to others. And we find that we’re not as good as some, and we are better than others. Or so it seems.
However, this is misleading at best, and dangerous at worst. What we perceive is not always what is really there. And what we compare ourselves to might be an incorrect image built up in our minds, supported by fear and self-doubt.
First, it’s important to understand that each of us is on a different path, our own unique journey. Someone else is on a different path than you—with different things to learn, different things to experience, different goals, and a different way of being. So a comparison is not helpful at all.
If you are running late to the dentist, and person B is leisurely on the way to the grocery store, and person C is coming home from a concert—what are you comparing? They are totally different. Separate journeys.
None of them is better than any of the others. This is how it is in life—we are on our own unique journey, which cannot be compared to anyone else’s, and no one else can understand yours except you.
Second, what we usually end up comparing is our inner insecure selves—our fears and self-doubts—with the perceived outer performance of someone else. However, what we see is the mask they show the world—the accomplishments that they share. That is not a fair comparison. We do not see their inner fears and doubts, which we all have. And we do not often acknowledge or appreciate our own accomplishments, which others may look up to. It’s not an equal comparison, and it never can be. You can’t compare the hidden inner world of one with the visible outer world of another. It just doesn’t work.
And even if someone else is more accomplished than we are, remember that you don’t see how they started. We all start at the beginning—and they most likely started exactly where you are now, and it took many years, struggles, difficulties, and hardships for them to get where they are. So it’s not an equal comparison there, either. You can’t compare a beginner to an experienced person—we all start as beginners. And we all can work our way up to being experienced and successful.
Third, the only person we should compare ourselves to is who we used to be. We are not here to be better than anyone else, but to better than who we were before. We should strive to improve—and to take pride in that when we do.
So as for comparisons—they are either inaccurate, inappropriate, or unhelpful. Or all three. My best advice is to let all comparisons go, and simply work on being the best that you can be. And support everyone else in being the best that they can be. There is room for all of us to succeed and do well.
And the best way to get there is to learn as much as you can, keep improving, and take pride in where you are. Enjoy the entire path, every step along the way, and appreciate where you are. You deserve to be happy, no matter where you are on the journey.
You have unique abilities and a unique perspective. You fill a niche no one else can. So let go of comparisons. Believe in yourself. Because you truly are amazing.
Comparisons? They can bring you down. Forget them.
Know that you are awesome!
Copyright © 2018 Lynn Miclea. All Rights Reserved.