Throughout our lives, we are subject to feedback — for our writing, our music, our dancing, our decisions and choices, our looks, and even our personality.
There will always be people who like what we do and who we are, and those who don’t. Sometimes that critique is helpful, and sometimes not. But to learn from it, we need to listen to both the good and the bad, take what is helpful, and let go of the rest.
We can learn from everything that happens to us, whether good or bad.
For writers — critique, criticism, and feedback on our writing can be difficult to hear, but it is part of the package. It is not only necessary, it is inescapable, as our writing is often shared with the public.
As a writer, even negative feedback is vital. It helps us evaluate our own writing, see where we can improve, and then become better writers. If the feedback doesn’t have merit, then we learn from that too. We learn to accept what has validity and value, and let go of that which doesn’t. And in the process, we become better — better writers and better people.
The first thing to learn with feedback is that it is not personal. It is not a reflection on us as individuals or on our worth or value. It is not even a reflection on our abilities as a writer. It is simply feedback saying that there is something in our writing that needs another look and that can possibly be improved. Don’t be insulted by something negative — evaluate it and learn from it. Become a better writer from all feedback that you receive. We don’t become better without that critique, and all of it helps us grow as a writer.
For all of us — this applies to other experiences in life as well. We all get feedback, critique, and criticism in many areas of our lives. It can come from bosses, friends, family, or anyone. We get feedback about our lives, our words, our clothes, our food, our choices, our decisions, and our opinions.
And often, the feedback says more about the person offering it than to whom it is offered. It is common for people to project their inner struggles onto the outside world and see things that are not necessarily there. So this is another reminder to not take it personally. Feedback often reflects the speaker’s inner world, personal perspective, and their unique biases and opinions, and is not necessarily absolute, unbiased truth.
It is up to you to evaluate whether the feedback has merit and value, or whether it should be discarded. Listen to it, evaluate the source, and learn from it all. Don’t take any of it personally, think about what may have significance, be important, or serve a purpose, and discard what does not fit you and your circumstances.
No one knows your life, your writing, your book, your decisions, or your choices the way you do. Learn from all the feedback, and know that you have the final decision. It is your life, your writing, your decision, your heart, and your choice.
We each have different perspectives, tastes, and opinions. Someone else’s is not necessarily better than yours. Trust yourself and your judgment. Always do what is right for you, whatever it is.
Everything can be a learning experience, and we should learn from it all — and then move forward with new growth, new insight, and new confidence.
Believe in yourself, and strive to be the best that you can, learning from everything around you.
Copyright © 2019 Lynn Miclea. All Rights Reserved.