And I have realized that I can’t just ignore these feelings and pretend they’re not there. I’ve tried to avoid them for a long time, but they keep coming back even stronger. They are real, and I am feeling them for some reason. So it’s time that I acknowledge them and honor them. Explore the feelings, move into them and through them, and see what’s underneath and behind it all.
And I find that I am overcome with so much compassion and love for myself and for what I am dealing with. Yes – I understand, I know why you feel that way, and I understand your struggle.
I realize that those feelings are not “bad” and I’m not a bad person. It’s all part of my journey. It’s all about the issues that I am here to work through, and that’s good. In fact, it’s great that these issues are coming up so that I have a chance to work on them, honor them, and transform them.
And then I look to feel and discover what’s under those feelings – and I see that underneath all of that is me feeling helpless, powerless, and worthless. Ahhh, yes, that is what is getting touched and why I am reacting so strongly and wanting to fight back. Yes – and it really has nothing to do with the other person.
That is a breakthrough. And what I need, and what I give myself, is more love and compassion.
And now that I’ve stepped back out of my ego into a deeper witness state, I find that the anger and resentment are not there at that level. And I know that she is as much a wonderful, beautiful, loving, and divine being as me, and she is simply here on her own journey of issues and discovery and growth, just like me. And I send her love and compassion.
On a human ego level, I know we touched each other’s issues, or pushed each other’s buttons, as they say. And that’s actually a good thing – because that shows us where we need to look and where we need work and healing. We are here to face our issues, work through them, and to learn and grow because of them – and that’s what I am doing.
I am not doing it perfectly, and I know that these issues will keep coming up for me until they are resolved and I have learned what I need to learn from them. So in the meantime, I will do my best, watch and witness what is happening and how I am reacting, see what is underneath that, honor all of it, and love myself and the entire process. This is so very healing.
And I send love to my adversary/teacher. I am grateful for the opportunity and the lessons, and I lovingly leave her to travel on her own journey, as I embrace mine.
And that is where there is an opening.
We are all magnificent, divine beings, exploring life from a human perspective, on a powerful journey of uncovering, opening to, and embracing Love.
Sending each of you much love.
Copyright © 2014 Lynn Miclea. All Rights Reserved.