Honoring My Dad – A Transformation

background_mc[1]Honoring My Dad – A Transformation – Wow. Something shifted in me this week. Profoundly. Something that blew me away and knocked me off my feet.

For some reason, something transitioned and opened. Maybe I had done enough work on the issues. Maybe I had let go of the pain and tentacles to the past and had forgiven enough. Or maybe I was simply ready. Or all of the above, I don’t know. It doesn’t even matter.

After years of abuse, difficulty, pain, rage, hatred, and butting heads… something opened and completely transformed everything. I suddenly fell in love with my Dad.

file4341336852705[2]I do not mean romantic or sexual love. I mean love beyond this plane of existence.

Due to my father’s condition, which includes some dementia, he has moved into a state of child-like openness and vulnerability. He deals with the here and now, with no other thought. He is happy and open. He is fully present.

And somehow, that became the catalyst I needed, and I matched him. My Being moved into an open place of Love. Unending depth and Beingness. A powerful, breathing, living space. I became fully present in a sea of euphoria. I became immersed in Love.

file3581272664101[1]Do you know the feeling when you fall in love and everything opens? Time and space cease to exist. Everything expands. Judgments, thoughts, walls, and divisions melt away. You’re open, joyful, vulnerable. The self and ego disappear. You merge and blend in a space of love, beyond thought and rationality. You come alive, giddy, happy.  It’s amazing and fills you.

This was way beyond that. Something exploded open in my heart. Love and joy radiating and saturating life with colors and scents of the essence of bliss.

I gazed into my father’s eyes – and I saw myself. There was no division. I was him. He was me. We were the same, we were one, in a love-dance beyond time and space. Rivers of joy flowed between us. There were no thoughts, no walls, no resistance. No time, no space. Our souls danced together, intertwining, belonging to each other. There was no separation.

salmonriverfalls[1]It didn’t matter what we said – our words became poetic expressions of a samba of blissful butterfly rivers, undulating in a sea of silky, melodious rainbows.

And unlike my usual feelings of being relieved when I left, this time it was hard for me to leave, and I found myself overcome with sadness on my way home, as though I was leaving a part of myself behind. There was something there in that connection that I craved on a deep soul level.

Dad, we are more than connected. We are one, and I love you beyond time and space. We are swimming together in the deepest and most profound Love.

WhiteRose[1]I am here for you. And I will help make your final years on this earth joyful and filled with the deepest love.

And it has hit me: the source of my greatest pain has now become the source and opening of my greatest breakthrough.

Dad, you have now become my teacher. And I am humbled and filled with awe.

Thank you, Dad. I love you more than you could possibly know. And I can’t wait to see you again.

Copyright © 2014 Lynn Miclea. All Rights Reserved.

 

Advertisements

About Lynn Miclea

LYNN MICLEA grew up in New York and moved to California while in her twenties. A certified hypnotherapist, Reiki Master practitioner, and EFT (tapping) practitioner, with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, she spent many years working in the medical field and in various offices in an administrative capacity. She is also an accomplished musician and plays the piano at various senior facilities, where her music touches those who need it the most. After retiring in 2013, Lynn discovered a passion for writing, and she has become a successful author with ten books published. Two of her books are powerful memoirs, and eight are uplifting and fun children’s animal stories about kindness, believing in yourself, seeing the best in those around you, and helping others. Lynn believes that the best thing we can do in this world is to help each other. She hopes that through her writing, she can help encourage people to show more kindness and compassion to everyone around them. She asks everyone to be kind to each other as we all share this journey through life together. Lynn currently lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and two dogs. For more information - please check out her website at www.lynnmiclea.com - thank you!
This entry was posted in meandering thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Honoring My Dad – A Transformation

  1. greyzoned/angelsbark says:

    Oh, this made me cry! It’s so very sad to watch our parents get older and see things happen to them that we can’t do anything to change. My heart goes out to you. But how wonderful to have had this amazing breakthrough that fills you with love and puts your relationship in a new perspective. Really nice post Lynn.

    • Lynn Miclea says:

      Thank you, Michele! Yes, it’s hard to watch that happen with our parents, but things have really shifted for me. I really went from dreading to see him and having the visits be an obligation, to being freed into a space of pure love and openness, where I now look forward to the visits. And the details that I need to take care of with him are now minor, and the focus is love. It really feels like my life has come full circle. Thanks so much for your comment! ❤

  2. RenataB says:

    Just like Michele, I was crying as I read this. It so poignant, so deep, special, so awe-some and I am deeply moved and grateful that you chose to share this deepest experience with the world. I kept re-reading “It didn’t matter what we said – our words became poetic expressions of a samba of blissful butterfly rivers, undulating in a sea of silky, melodious rainbows.” That expression can come from nowhere short of the heart of your soul. I’m so happy for you Lynn and I wish you many many more moments of bliss and love such as what you experienced. This post is a teaching and a reminder for all of us. ❤ ❤

    • Lynn Miclea says:

      Renata, thank you so much! It was true, we didn’t need to say or do anything, and our little attempts at conversation were just a few words of nothingness, and it didn’t matter, what came out was pure love. And I was wondering whether or not to share this experience/post, as it felt so deeply personal, but I’m glad I did. Thanks so much for your insights and comments. ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s