For some reason, something transitioned and opened. Maybe I had done enough work on the issues. Maybe I had let go of the pain and tentacles to the past and had forgiven enough. Or maybe I was simply ready. Or all of the above, I don’t know. It doesn’t even matter.
After years of abuse, difficulty, pain, rage, hatred, and butting heads… something opened and completely transformed everything. I suddenly fell in love with my Dad.
Due to my father’s condition, which includes some dementia, he has moved into a state of child-like openness and vulnerability. He deals with the here and now, with no other thought. He is happy and open. He is fully present.
And somehow, that became the catalyst I needed, and I matched him. My Being moved into an open place of Love. Unending depth and Beingness. A powerful, breathing, living space. I became fully present in a sea of euphoria. I became immersed in Love.
Do you know the feeling when you fall in love and everything opens? Time and space cease to exist. Everything expands. Judgments, thoughts, walls, and divisions melt away. You’re open, joyful, vulnerable. The self and ego disappear. You merge and blend in a space of love, beyond thought and rationality. You come alive, giddy, happy. It’s amazing and fills you.
This was way beyond that. Something exploded open in my heart. Love and joy radiating and saturating life with colors and scents of the essence of bliss.
I gazed into my father’s eyes – and I saw myself. There was no division. I was him. He was me. We were the same, we were one, in a love-dance beyond time and space. Rivers of joy flowed between us. There were no thoughts, no walls, no resistance. No time, no space. Our souls danced together, intertwining, belonging to each other. There was no separation.
And unlike my usual feelings of being relieved when I left, this time it was hard for me to leave, and I found myself overcome with sadness on my way home, as though I was leaving a part of myself behind. There was something there in that connection that I craved on a deep soul level.
Dad, we are more than connected. We are one, and I love you beyond time and space. We are swimming together in the deepest and most profound Love.
And it has hit me: the source of my greatest pain has now become the source and opening of my greatest breakthrough.
Dad, you have now become my teacher. And I am humbled and filled with awe.
Thank you, Dad. I love you more than you could possibly know. And I can’t wait to see you again.
Copyright © 2014 Lynn Miclea. All Rights Reserved.