Judgment – Of course, we all judge. The first time we see a person or a thing, there is instant and natural judgment as we attempt to understand who or what we are looking at. We judge to make sense of the world around us. There are times when judging is appropriate and necessary. There is nothing wrong with that – and that is not the type of judgment I am talking about here.
The judging that I’m referring to now is constantly judging our friends, our co-workers, our family, or even acquaintances, on an endless list of things. Someone else’s religion, philosophy, diet, way of life, personal choices, jobs, clothing, looks… Continually judging others and labeling them or their choices as “good” or “bad,” or “right” or “wrong.”
I have come to realize that we are all on different, unique paths, and it is not our place to force our rules or perspective on anyone else. We don’t really know what another person is going through, what they are dealing with, or where they have been. And they need to find their own way. We are not superior to or better than anyone else. So how do we have the right to judge anyone else? I know I don’t like being judged by others. We all do the best we can at any given time.
Every person and every situation is different, and we are not in a position to judge anyone else’s journey. I realize that I need to allow everyone to make their own choices, whether or not I agree with them. Each of us is deserving of the freedom to be, do, think, or choose whatever we want – and we all are entitled to compassion and love, not judgment and criticism. And actually, I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong” with personal choices – it’s all opportunities, lessons, and different paths. And all of that is constantly changing with each moment.
What I now try to do is catch it when it happens – simply notice it. Oh, there I go, judging someone again. And then I simply let it go, as just another thought that I’m no longer attached to.
I have found that the less I judge, the more open I am. And then the more I allow things to be what they are and people to be who they are. The more I allow the world and everything in it to be as it is. And then, as I am not fighting anything or trying to judge or control anything, there is less stress, and life simplifies.
Everything keeps changing with time, perspective, experience, vision, circumstances… so trying to put something in a neat box and wrap it up and label it by judging it is a disservice, and it doesn’t even work. It cuts off the open flow of the world. You can’t box up beauty, uniqueness, creativity, wisdom, compassion, growth, or love. The less judgment, the more fluid life is.
And that holds true for myself as well. We often are the most critical, the most judgmental, of ourselves. And we deserve the same love, compassion, kindness, and acceptance, as everyone else. Stop beating yourself up and putting yourself down about anything. All of that is a form of judgment. Catch yourself doing it, and then let that go and simply love yourself – right now, exactly where you are. You are complete, you are whole, you are perfect just as you are.
Non-judgment – a path to openness, simplicity, and love.
Copyright © 2014 Lynn Miclea. All Rights Reserved.