J – Judgment

ad10Judgment – Of course, we all judge. The first time we see a person or a thing, there is instant and natural judgment as we attempt to understand who or what we are looking at. We judge to make sense of the world around us. There are times when judging is appropriate and necessary. There is nothing wrong with that – and that is not the type of judgment I am talking about here.

J.file451297827287[1]The judging that I’m referring to now is constantly judging our friends, our co-workers, our family, or even acquaintances, on an endless list of things. Someone else’s religion, philosophy, diet, way of life, personal choices, jobs, clothing, looks… Continually judging others and labeling them or their choices as “good” or “bad,” or “right” or “wrong.”

I have come to realize that we are all on different, unique paths, and it is not our place to force our rules or perspective on anyone else.  We don’t really know what another person is going through, what they are dealing with, or where they have been.  And they need to find their own way.  We are not superior to or better than anyone else.  So how do we have the right to judge anyone else?  I know I don’t like being judged by others.  We all do the best we can at any given time.

J.file801343155029[1]Every person and every situation is different, and we are not in a position to judge anyone else’s journey. I realize that I need to allow everyone to make their own choices, whether or not I agree with them. Each of us is deserving of the freedom to be, do, think, or choose whatever we want – and we all are entitled to compassion and love, not judgment and criticism.  And actually, I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong” with personal choices – it’s all opportunities, lessons, and different paths. And all of that is constantly changing with each moment.

What I now try to do is catch it when it happens – simply notice it.  Oh, there I go, judging someone again.  And then I simply let it go, as just another thought that I’m no longer attached to.

DSC_4439[1]I have found that the less I judge, the more open I am. And then the more I allow things to be what they are and people to be who they are. The more I allow the world and everything in it to be as it is. And then, as I am not fighting anything or trying to judge or control anything, there is less stress, and life simplifies.

Everything keeps changing with time, perspective, experience, vision, circumstances… so trying to put something in a neat box and wrap it up and label it by judging it is a disservice, and it doesn’t even work. It cuts off the open flow of the world. You can’t box up beauty, uniqueness, creativity, wisdom, compassion, growth, or love. The less judgment, the more fluid life is.

file3521254236636[1]I feel so much more comfortable and at peace in a place of non-judgment, of openness, of flow, of acceptance. Honoring everyone else by allowing them to be on their own path, not on mine.

And that holds true for myself as well. We often are the most critical, the most judgmental, of ourselves. And we deserve the same love, compassion, kindness, and acceptance, as everyone else. Stop beating yourself up and putting yourself down about anything. All of that is a form of judgment. Catch yourself doing it, and then let that go and simply love yourself – right now, exactly where you are.  You are complete, you are whole, you are perfect just as you are.

Non-judgment – a path to openness, simplicity, and love.

Copyright © 2014 Lynn Miclea. All Rights Reserved.

 

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About Lynn Miclea

LYNN MICLEA grew up in New York and moved to California while in her twenties. A certified hypnotherapist, Reiki Master practitioner, and EFT (tapping) practitioner, with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, she spent many years working in the medical field and in various offices in an administrative capacity. She is also an accomplished musician and plays the piano at various senior facilities, where her music touches those who need it the most. After retiring in 2013, Lynn discovered a passion for writing, and she has become a successful author with ten books published. Two of her books are powerful memoirs, and eight are uplifting and fun children’s animal stories about kindness, believing in yourself, seeing the best in those around you, and helping others. Lynn believes that the best thing we can do in this world is to help each other. She hopes that through her writing, she can help encourage people to show more kindness and compassion to everyone around them. She asks everyone to be kind to each other as we all share this journey through life together. Lynn currently lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and two dogs. For more information - please check out her website at www.lynnmiclea.com - thank you!
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12 Responses to J – Judgment

  1. philjackman says:

    Another inciteful blog thanks. Who are we to judge anyway? If it doesn’t hurt anyone why should we care?

    • Lynn Miclea says:

      Thank you, Phil. You are absolutely right – as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, someone else’s choices really have nothing to do with us. Thank you for your comment. 🙂

  2. susan says:

    we find the older we get the less we judge – and that way don’t miss out on people would have years ago

    • Lynn Miclea says:

      Susan, I agree. I used to be very judgmental when I was younger, and I am much less so now. I find as I get older, I am much less critical and judgmental, and much more relaxed and easy-going. My perspective on everything has changed. And that’s a good thing. I would never want to be younger again – the older I get, the happier I am. Thank you for your comment! ❤

  3. Jean says:

    I struggle with this, especially with younger family members who do not seem to be on a path that will be kind to them. I’ve tried to withhold letting them know this, because there’s really no helpful way to let them know. I try to remember some of the dumb things I did when I was their age, and it helps a little. I also am thankful I didn’t grow up in an era of Facebook, where all my stupidity may have been on display for the world to see without the benefit of context.

    Jean, visiting for the A-Z Challenge from Rantings and Ravings of an Insane Writer

    • Lynn Miclea says:

      Jean, thank you for your comment. I think that also depends on the age of the child and your relationship with them. And I do understand – it’s natural to want to jump in. In general, it’s always good to keep lines of communication open, and always offer love and support. Yes, it’s a different world today with Facebook, I agree! It sounds like you are making wise choices, and I wish you the best. ❤

  4. greyzoned/angelsbark says:

    You never know what one is going through or who one is until you walk in their shoes. To judge is to make assumptions, which often result in taking away the ability to be compassionate and empathetic. I’ve made judgments before and found out later how very wrong I had been. We live in a society that pre-judges all the time. It is the enlightened souls that steer clear of judging and thus find much more harmony in life than their less enlightened counterparts. Great post Lynn! It’s good to be reminded because no matter how hard we try not to judge, we are still human and will fall victim to it at some point…

    • Lynn Miclea says:

      Thank you, Michele, I so agree! Judging is making assumptions and also presuming we know better than someone else, and we don’t. I’ve judged so many times and been wrong, too. For me, I find it better to catch myself as I’m doing it, just witness it, and then let it go. I don’t have to hold onto it and give it power, I can simply observe it and let it flutter away. Thank you for your comment! ❤

  5. saskia says:

    Great blog! If only more people lived this way, the world would be so much more at peace. Enjoy life and take it for what it is.

  6. renatabu says:

    “You are complete, you are whole, you are perfect just as you are,” needs to be on a bumper sticker on my car, on a T-shirt I’d wear often, written across the bathroom mirror at home to see every day! Lovely! ❤

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