But have you ever tried saying it to yourself? I’ve heard that if you face yourself in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and say, “I Love You” to yourself, it will start to affect things in your life. I’ve heard that if you do this every day, you could see and feel amazing changes happen. They even suggested that you try doing this while (cough) naked. I am not that brave.
Okay, so I thought I’d try this. But, ahem, definitely not naked. I went to the mirrored closet door in my bedroom, and I’m glad it was dusty so I didn’t even see myself that clearly. And at first I couldn’t even say it. I looked at my image and tried not to look for blemishes. Say it, I thought. And both of me, the speaker and the recipient, knew that I didn’t mean it. Without even saying it yet, I knew I didn’t mean it. Who am I kidding, I thought. But okay, let’s try it anyway.
I looked at myself, feeling self-conscious, even in front of my own reflection. After about five minutes of staring at my dusty likeness, my eyes dropped to the image of my lips, and I finally mumbled, very quietly, “I love you.” What? I didn’t hear you. I said it again. What? This time I looked myself in my dusty eyes and said more clearly and more audibly, “I love you.” And my image looked back at me, mocking me. No you don’t, it said. You’re just saying it, but you don’t mean it (it knows me way too well).
So I stepped slightly to the side where there was a little less dust on the mirror, and I tried it again. “I love you,” I said a little louder. I didn’t know if I meant it or not, but it felt a little easier. I said it again. Was there a smile there starting in my eyes? I said it again, more passionately.
“I love you,” I stated firmly. “No matter what you do, what you say, what you weigh, what you look like. I love you and I will never stop loving you.” My image smiled back at me. “I love you more than you can possibly imagine. And I’m going to tell you this every day.” I looked at my reflection and saw light dancing in my eyes.
It’s now been three days. I am still looking in the mirror and saying it, and I even found a mirror with less dust on it so I can see a little more clearly. It does get easier and more comfortable, and I don’t feel as foolish as when I started. I’m now actually looking forward to this little clandestine tryst I’m having with myself. And I think I’m actually starting to believe the words, too. I’m totally getting into it on the saying end of it, but I’m having a harder time on the receiving end. But I’m getting there. And I think I will keep saying it until I believe it fully and completely on all sides and it won’t even matter anymore whether I say it or not, I’ll just know it.
But for now, it matters. And I will say it for as long as it takes.
Have you said “I Love You” lately? To yourself?
Copyright © 2014 Lynn Miclea. All Rights Reserved.